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Hannah Green MFT

1195 Valencia St
San Francisco, CA, 94110
United States

415-238-1915

Holistic psychotherapy in San Francisco for individuals and couples.

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Working With Resentments

Hannah Green

Image Pioneer CD's 1985

Image Pioneer CD's 1985

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Why work with resentments?


We all have plenty of judgements and resentments. Working with my own resentments is an indispensable part of my journey to wholeness. I have come to understand that while resentments are a fact of life, it is possible to use them for good rather than evil.

Jung said there are three major highways to the unconscious mind: Dreams, images and projections. Resentments are projections and working with them creates a powerful dialogue between the conscious and unconscious mind.

Why is this important? Psychic/life energy gets stuck in projection/resentment. If we release the energy bound in resentment, it becomes available for insight, creativity, spiritual awakening, physical health and vitality. Wether we are working with dreams, images or projections, the point is to connect with the unconscious and the collective unconscious making this a vast inner resource and well of energy available to us.

The following exercise has helped me and countless clients turn resentments into insight. Owning and working with resentments has proven far more productive than denying them, wishing them away or trying to "not judge". Working with resentments is a powerful part of integrating our own Shadow and i have found consistent practice in this area pays off immensely!

What is a resentment?


A resentment is occurring any time I am having a conversation with or arguing with someone in my head, any time I feel stuck or any time I think something should be happening that’s not or shouldn’t be happening that is. This process of putting pen to paper alchemizes resentment into insight and inspiration. Doing this practice consistently and whenever resentment arises is an alchemical key.

Simple Resentment Releaser

 

  • I am resentful at _____ because…

1.

2.

3.

Picture yourself getting uncomfortable and list the specific things the person is doing and/or saying as the discomfort is happening.

 

  • What does this affect? List all that apply:

  • self-esteem (is the situation affecting my sense of worth or value) hint: I have never had a resentment that isn’t.

  • security (is the situation happening in my primary relationship, inner circle, workplace or home?)

  • personal or intimate relationships (are other people involved?)

  • ambitions (Is the situation affecting my money, job or professional reputation?)

 

  • What did I not do or say?

When I am resentful I am over-managing a situation. Here I free-write what I would do or say if I had no fear or attachment to outcomes.

 

  • What do I think they should do?

1.

2.

3.

Make a list of all the things ______ should do. Write each statement as: ______ should ______.

 

  • Turn it around.

Rewrite all the above statements replacing

(other person's name) should ____ with:

I can _____.

This becomes my personalized formula for getting relief and moving forward in line with my values. Read each 'I can ___'  statement and consider/feel into what that means to you today.

A wonderful book on releasing resentment:
Loving What Is by Byron Katie

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