Myth of Psyche
Hannah Green
Dear Community,
I hope you had a wonderful May. We have crossed the threshold into Summer and I wish you a a lovely season filled with fresh berries and sojourns into nature!
The Greek myths are a treasure trove of insight into human nature and psychology. Myths use story and symbol to show us our fears, desires, greatest strengths and challenges. The myth of Psyche is a powerful archetypal story that I connect with deeply. Psyche has two meanings in Greek: Soul and butterfly. The myth of Psyche describes the journey of the soul, of transition, of transformation and individuation. Psyche (Soul) and her lover Eros (Love) are separated through a series of events involving the Goddess Aphrodite. In order to be reunited Psyche must complete 4 tasks to appease the Goddess. There are many important and fascinating aspects to Psyche's journey. This month I am focussed on Psyche's third and fourth task which illustrate the theme of this email: boundaries and emotional detachment. As we will see in Psyche's journey, learning emotional detachment and how to say NO is necessary and challenging ~ even for Gods and mythological beings!
Listen to the tasks she completes metaphorically and see how they articulate navigating a transition/ transformation. See how they also outline the therapy/recovery process. Aphrodite tasks Psyche to:
Sort a mountain of seeds. Metaphorically this represents the inventory process and stock taking we need to do at the beginning of a transition. What is happening? What is serving me and what isn't? What parts of me are in the forefront and what parts are underground? What is going on in my relationships? Initially Psyche is discouraged and resistant and when she finally surrenders to the task she notices an army of ants assisting her and instinctually sorting and organizing the seeds.
Gather some golden fleece from the the competitive, head butting Rams of the sun. Here Psyche takes advice offered by a river reed and instead of battling with the Rams, waits until nightfall to gather the fleece collected in the brush. Psyche learns find her own rhythm, to listen to nature (the reed) and to the cycles of nature (night and day) so as not to trample her soul in pursuit of a goal.
Fill a crystal flask with the water of life flowing continuously from the river Styx. She must ascend to the highest crag guarded by snake-like dragons to reach the fountain. Symbolically she captures the creative ever flowing life force and shapes it to her own personality and form. Jean Shinoda Bolen writes that the creative task of capturing the water in the crystal is akin to "a conscious desire to capture archetypal energies, visions, emotions and give them shape through your own personality." This task is the creative act. Psyche is helped by Zeus' Eagle who shows her that in order to succeed she must be focussed, emotionally detached, determined and have crystal clear vision.
Travel to the underworld, fill an empty box with Persephone's beauty ointment and bring it to Aphrodite. Dismayed, Psyche believes the only way to visit the underworld is to die and so she climbs to the top of a tower to leap to her death. The tower speaks to her and tells her of a secret passage to the underworld and instructs her to take cakes and for the three headed guard dog and coins for the ferryman. The tower admonishes her that she will be asked for help three times and three times she must refuse. The tower tells her, "Three times you will be asked for help, Psyche. You must harden your heart to pity, refuse, and go on." Psyche does indeed say no three times and successfully crosses the river Styx and emerges from the underworld with her prize.
Psyche's initial reaction to each of the the tasks is despair. She succeeds by surrendering to her task and is helped by instinctual nature, the divine feminine (embodied by nature and the river reed) and divine masculine (embodied by Zeus' Eagle). The fourth task requires she help herself.
Is saying no and practicing emotional detachment so hard that even mythological beings are grappling with it? Many of us would say yes.
Perhaps we were not told/shown in childhood: It is Ok to be more well than the people around you. It is OK to say no. It is OK if people don't like you. It is OK to disappoint people. It is OK to stand out and be different. It is OK to be successful. It is OK to protect yourself and your energy. In fact many aspects of families and society give us another message: In order to be loved you must in one way or another give up your boundaries.
Growing up we make certain pacts unconsciously. Our physical, emotional and psychological survival was based on learning what we needed to do and who we needed to be in order to get safety, inclusion and love. These pacts became the basis for our our personality and characterized the first half of our lives. We found out what played well for the family system, brought those aspects to the foreground and sent the rest underground.
The second half of life is about excavating these underground aspects of self. During the excavation we descend and bring forth those parts of ourselves that once threatened survival because ironically our survival may now depend on them. This excavation is necessitated and facilitated by life transitions like Psyche's journey. The journey may show up as love lost, addiction, depression or illness. These often vilified phenomenon are actually the catalysts for the live affirming journey of individuation.
Like Psyche, during a life transition we need our resources. We need to be discerning and intentional about where we put our energy. We often need to break these earlier pacts if we are to successfully "cross the river." We must say no to people, to old beliefs and to thoughts that do not serve us.
Big discomfort and big excitement come with the excavation. We face our fear of disapproval, retaliation and punishment. Tremendous feelings of guilt, shame or fear may arise as we undo the old pattern of bonding through losing our boundaries. This may be especially true for women who are culturally neurochemically programmed to bond through vulnerability. Talking with vulnerability and disclosing our difficulties creates oxytocin (the bonding chemical) which is fueled by estrogen. Women especially may risk feeling or being ostracized if they are "to well," too successful or too independent.
Setting boundaries and practicing healthy emotional detachment (allowing other people to have their feelings without becoming overly involved) is a spiritual practice. It is a spiritual practice because taking these risks is a leap of faith. It is a spiritual practice because through boundaries we are unplugging from old patterns, beliefs and sources of safety. Through boundaries we plug into a new source of strength and well being that allows us to individuate and experience our innate sovereignty. The definition of sovereignty is "the full right and power of a governing body over itself."
Psyche is also the mistress of liminal space or the "in-between places." She is in-between one way of being and the next. She is in-between mortal and goddess. She reminds us that the liminal or in between places are sacred and necessary for our transformation. For me she is the patron saint of therapy. Psyche (the butterfly) must spend time in the cocoon in order to transform. Therapy is a cocoon and a liminal space in which we can learn to tolerate the in-between and give time and energy to our transformation process.
For more in depth exploration of the Psych myth read the article Transitions as Liminal and Archetypal Situationsby Jean Shinoda Bolen.
