Physical Boundaries and Safety

Dear Community,

Happy June! Above is the Goddess Kali, destroyer of evil forces, the divine protector, divine mother and bringer of liberation. She is the most powerful form of Shakti or divine feminine. She burns with divine light as her consort Shiva lies calm and prostrate beneath her. 

This month I want to talk about channeling our own inner Kali and committing to personal safety. I was given the suggestion by one of my mentors to take Impact Bay Area's three day self defense course for women. Despite a lot of initial resistance - this month I did it!. I am really proud of myself for completing the course and managing the physical and emotional labor involved. I want to share about my experience to potentially inspire others to take this course or to commit to personal safety in a way that is right for them. 

For me the experience was so powerful and had physical, emotional, mental and spiritual components. 

• Physical: I learned specific techniques for responding effectively to real life attack scenarios. I got to feel the power of my full force hits and kicks (turns out my kicks are deadly). I got to move through my learned freeze response. I learned to channel my voice to add strength to my verbal boundaries and physical strikes. I got to train my nervous system to respond, fight back and to deescalate and call help.

• Emotional: I got to process emotions - including anger, rage, shame and sadness and to release emotions from past traumas. I was able to let go of carried shame which is the shame victims take on from their abusers. I felt immense gratitude for my physical body and love and empathy for the incredible women also participating in the course.

• Mental: I was able to understand more of my internalized sexism and identify victim blaming more clearly. As a result I was able to let go of limiting beliefs around who I am or need to be to be safe or accepted by others. It is ok to be powerful! It is ok to be fierce! My understanding of functional boundaries was enhanced and effective self defense language was clearly defined.

• Spiritual: I experienced the power of the Sacred Feminine flowing through me and through the women in the group. I experienced a new level of personal worth and value and was able to commit more deeply to my personal safety and well being. I am worth fighting for.

How committed are you to your personal safety and the safety of other women? How ready are you to stop victim blaming once and for all? How do you recognize the freeze response and move through it? What do you want to say "NO" to? What techniques will help you avoid a physical fight or effectively defend yourself if necessary? How do you set verbal boundaries with strangers and acquaintances? How do you use your voice to empower yourself and other women? How has misogynist culture affected you, your voice and your nervous system? How do you channel your strength to protect yourself fiercely?

The supportive and skilled instructors at Impact Bay Area can hold space for these explorations. 

I won't say this three day workshop is "years of therapy" but in a way it is. The effects of working physically and in arousal states are deep. I learned skills that are now committed to muscle memory. Learn more about the women's basics course below. The Women's Basics Course is for all who identify as female. Impact also has an LGBTQ BASICS COURSE.

WOMENS BASICS COURSE

We just returned from Indian Springs - one of my favorite places to connect to the elements and experience the healing balm of water and nature. I am reminded of how vulnerable it actually is to relax. No wonder as women we are so prone to stress and over doing - to relax is to be vulnerable and the world is not always a safe place for women. I am committed to changing that - starting with myself. Sending deep love and respect to every woman and the Kali energy within.