Embracing the Shadow Women's Group

Check out my new offerings in the the making:

SOUL CONNECTION PROCESS FOR COUPLES

EMBRACING THE SHADOW WORKSHOP FOR WOMEN

JUNE TAROT READING

Center: THE MAGICIAN - Us as a collective right now.

Left: WHEEL OF FORTUNE - Our recent past.

Right: THE EMPRESS - Our near future

Above; FOUR OF CUPS - The conscious material at play

Below: PAGE OF SWORDS - The Unconscious material at play

We are the magician. We have many tools at our disposal, tools of thinking, feeling, manifesting and inspiring and this time calls for them all. The recent past has invited us to experience our wholeness and to face parts of ourselves previously shadowed un the unconscious. What was hidden is now revealed and available to be alchemized by our inner magician.

Our ability to use our creative powers will depend on our ability to stay centered and to allow emotions to surface whilst also staying connected to a still point inside. We will also be called to "spin" our perceptions and change our perceptions radically if we are to make effective magic, grow and affect tangible change under present circumstances.

If we open to our wholeness, change our perspective and utilize our magician functions - embodiment of our values awaits us in the near future. We will be mothering ourselves in a completely new way and creating abundance in the areas that matter to us most. If we stay the course, our ability to walk our talk will increase dramatically.

Grief that was previously hidden is now all around us in the conscious world and so can now be digested and integrated. It is essential to give grief it's due course so that new hope can be born.

Unconsciously we are birthing the ability to have our words match our deeds. Right now it is hard to translate the insights and transformations we are experiencing into tangible results. We need patience and diligence. We need to take it one day at a time. We need to break goals down into teeny tiny action items that we can take daily.

We are reminded to use all the tools at our disposal and to daily do two things: make space for the unconscious by connecting to art, dreams or imagery. Be methodical about bringing our values into manifestation by daily setting manageable objectives that walk us toward our greater aims.

The Tarot is an amazing tools for confusing times. When things feel loaded or unclear imagery can help us connect with truths that lay beneath the content. Images engage the unconscious mind which is the part of us that is able to make sense of complex material in an intuitive way. We FEEL the way a particular image is able to make sense of and hold seemingly contradictory emotions. When I stand in front of a painting and simultaneously feel joy, excitement, grief, connected to all beings and exquisitely alone the power of image is revealed. Tarot taps into this same function and helps me to hold multiple truths and connect with the depths of my being and intuition.

Favorite June Book

Existential Kink By Carolyn Elliot

Carolyn Elliot is a true wordsmith. She integrates hermetic wisdom and Jungian psychology in playful straightforward language. Her insights and tools produce tangible results rapidly. Her ability to articulate complex material is uncanny and a true pleasure to read. She narrates the audio version so you can enjoy her sassy sense of humor more fully through that medium.

MUSIC

Summer Jams Relaxing Spotify Mix - Enjoy xo

PLAYLIST FROM HEARTSNACKS

Psychology on TV

Normal People is a show based on the novel by writer Sally Rooney. It documents the (sometimes exquisite) pain of falling in love as a young person. Even more poignantly it illustrates how early trauma plays out in relationships before we have had the chance to process it it in adulthood.

The show will be interesting for those interested in avoidant and anxious attachment styles, sex and love addiction and healing from trauma. Many people who watch it will not be considering these topics and will be content to consume the dramatic and sensual elements of the show but the more discerning and psychologically minded viewer will enjoy the deeper layers and dynamics.

Normal People highlights how painful it is when communication breaks down in relationship and how easily we can misunderstand each other. Without awareness and communication Marrianne and Connell project their worst fears onto one another and are more in relationship to their trauma than to each other. This is easy to see in other people and very hard to recognize in ourselves.

The show also depicts how even in our earlier dysfunction we are creatively exploring how to heal. The late teens and earlier 20's are often characterized by symptoms of our early trauma and our creative attempts to heal. Often it is the consequences those "misguided" attempts create that forge and necessitate the path to true recovery, insight and healing.

The show is beautifully made and the characters extremely rich and multi-dimensional. The show has deep feminist undertones and poignantly explores what is is to be a young, bright and wounded woman.

Magical Southwest Itinerary

Dear Community,

My current theme is:

INTEGRATING WORK AND WONDER

I am enjoying integrating the lessons of 2020 into new ways of being and working. Supporting clients doing the same has been so exciting!

Below is "a therapist's travel blog." May it inspire you to bring wonder into your life and work in ways that feed your soul and replenish you.

I am a better therapist when I stay close to my sense of wonder and remember to add lots of life into the work ~ life equation.

Below are links to great places to stay and explore from my recent trip through the California, Nevada, Utah and Arizona along with some musings and reflections from the road. I hope you enjoy.

Magical Southwest Itinerary Links: 

The Nest Airbnb Tahoe

Sage Room Tahoe

Suzie Kondi

Monroe Inn

Loneliest Road in America

Blue Highways by William Least Heat-Moon

Eureka Colonnade Hotel Airbnb

Moab Springs Ranch

Moab Airbnb near Castle Valley

Milts Stop and Eat

Goulding’s Lodge

Cottonwood Duck Pond Airbnb

Larry’s Antiques Cottonwood

Jerome AZ

Tucson Boho Camper Downtown

Hotel Congress, Cup Cafe and Tap Room

Discosaics

Object Limited Bisbee

More Object Hotel Bisbee 

Object Hotel Artist Residency

Classic Rock Couture

Scorpio Rising Clothing

Patisserie Jacqui

Pioneertown Motel

Pappy and Harriet’s

Mercey Hot Springs

Native Lands App

My current remote working essentials:

Mac Book Air
Lap Top Stand
Lume Cube
Lap Top Case and Cord Organizer

We started in San Francisco driving west to Sacramento, made only slightly interesting to me by Gretta Gerwig’s movie Ladybird. Tahoe was our first stop. I had never been. For years I have been hearing about my millennial clients' ski trips. I heard Ken Wilbur lived in Tahoe and thought it must consequently have some measure of magic. As we climbed the hill the pine trees began to blossom around the winding road. Our next to vintage white Mercedes was gliding and pushing her way up the incline. We sang along with the Eurovision movie soundtrack until suddenly white smoke filled the rear view mirror. I pulled over, a little embarrassed to have been dousing the cars behind us in mysterious smoke. I run into the bushes to pee while my husband surveys the damage.

He is so loving. He not only dotes on me but on our car and on all our belongings. He listens to things and takes better care of them than I ever have. I am becoming a little more like him as I age - a little. He is empathizing with the car. I am scared we will have to go home. I am “post pandemic" ready for this road trip. I have three weeks of curated kitsch and comfort stretched out before me and I am like a rocket that's already launched...no turning back. A friendly highway patrolman has pulled over to check on us and he says, “maybe the car sucked up a plastic bag.” Apparently this is something that happens. Miraculously the car cools down and stops smoking and she quietly agrees to continue to our airbnb about 15 miles away. We make it to Tahoe easily and spoiler…this is the last of our car trouble. We arrive humbled, grateful and hugging a lot.

There are so many things I love about traveling. One is that I don’t find out what the challenges of a particular journey will be until they are unfolding in real time. I can not prepare for everything and this is why traveling is a spiritual practice. I am in God’s hands every day of my life but when I am traveling I know it. Things like prayer, presence, mindfulness and gratitude are what I eat and breathe on the road. The things I strive for in day to day life become necessity and the bread and butter of any trip.

We land in Tahoe and the next few days are all about trying to care for our car and establish her ability to make it the 2000 miles we have stretched out before us. I spend our first morning calling or visiting every mechanic in town. It is Saturday, the day before Easter. No one is around but I get an unlikely tour and taste of Tahoe in the process. Our airbnb host calls a huggable mechanic friend who ensures us we only have a small oil leak and to just be mindful. See, mindful. Necessity. In turn we are grateful for our car like never before. I start thinking of our car as a white pony that needs care and encouragement. The bond between us deepens significantly.

I want to celebrate the beginning of our vaccinated journey with a romantic and sumptuous steak dinner. We have been guided to the Sage Room through the internet and word of mouth. We are excited but dubious as it lies within the confines of a casino. We are slightly terrified of Casino’s. Besides being terrible snobs, we are both sober and no longer smoke cigarettes. Casino’s seem to be palaces erected to worship everything we deem taboo. I refuse to walk through the smoky casino and “ruin” one the Suzie Kondi velour tracksuits that became my beloved uniform in 2020. We are circling the large labyrinth of a parking lot trying to find smoke free entry to the restaurant.

This is our first time out to eat in a year.

We enter the Sage Room and we are greeted by casino celebrants and deff leopard thundering through the speakers. I don’t know if I can go on but we are driven forward by sheer curiosity and the promise of meat and fully loaded baked potatoes. This restaurant is a post pandemic rude awakening. I am judging the patrons harshly for their lack of conscientiousness thinking “who would go to a casino in April 2021?” Me, I realize. For steak. I have always been willing to go to great lengths for food. Our steak is just as promised: buttery and comforting. We pay our bill when we get our food so we can rush to safety after consuming our last bite.

The next morning we drive the winding road to Emerald bay and it is beautiful. The water is so blue it is as if the sky has taken a selfie. The lake is so pretty it is hard to believe how ancient it is. It seems like something about two million years old should be showing her age. Tahoe, despite her beauty was just a pit stop on the way to what comes next.

The Loneliest road in America, that is what they call highway 50. This incredible road stretches across the very heart and center of Nevada. To get there we wind through the last part of Tahoe until the ancient lake lies in the rear view mirror. Just before the 50, we drive past Dayton Nevada, an odd little town with quite an old west history. After Dayton begins the strange stretch of “ranches” that dot the highway this side of Reno. I wonder about how difficult the pandemic must have been for sex workers.



The loneliest road in America is the most peaceful and beautiful drive imaginable. We seldom saw another car on the road. Salt flats periodically stretched out on either side of us, giving the landscape an otherworldly and heavenly feeling. There is absolutely nothing like driving across the American West. The vastness of this land can only be comprehended by car. This pony express country. We pull over on the side of the road every chance we get to marvel. Everywhere I sense the native history and I have the distinct feeling we are trespassing, which of course we are. Last year I discovered the native lands app. I can look up whose tribal land I am on anywhere in the country which is now an indispensable part of any road trip. 

The old American highways are a passion of mine. I often think about getting a fancy van but I think airbnbs are their own kind of “blue highway.” Staying in an airbnb gives me a flavor of and is a real slice of a place.

The loneliest road cuts through the ghostly and magical town of Eureka.

Here, chickens cluck as they meander the streets. As we wandered we kept running into an adorable pack of young boys on scooters, yappy dogs in tow. What a place to grow up. Eureka is a mining town with a tragic and checkered history. As in most mining town histories, racism and murder feature strongly in the narrative. The Fish creek massacre of 1879 is a tragic example. Workers here were dissatisfied with their conditions and attempted to unionize. A familiar story ensues. A “posse” was formed to “keep the peace.” Posse’s in mining towns often proved to be murderous mobs with a vested interest in maintaining the unjust status quo.

Eureka is lined with incredibly quaint and sleepily inhabited western buildings and storefronts. There is a mini casino, a drugstore, a now defunct cafe, a post office. Eureka also boasts a beautiful opera house and a courthouse with the most intricate and beautiful copper ceiling I have ever seen. I chatted there with a clerk for some time. She was the second person to tell me the story of the cafe’s most recently departed owner. The first was a kindly man who was staying in the motel across from our hotel. He like others were fascinated that my husband and I had chosen to stay in Eureka. 

When I asked this gentleman why he was in Eureka he replied “Oh we’ve been here a week or so hunting squirrels in the alpha-ha fields, tryin’ to help the farmers out.” “Lovely, I said.”

He and the courthouse clerk independently explained to me that Eureka is built upon a network of apparently “haunted” underground tunnels. These tunnels were used for transporting iron from the mines, laundry and liquor during prohibition. Evidently this restaurant owner was more interested in growing marijuana in the tunnels beneath his property than he was in dishing up grub. The smell of pot plants was wafting through the sleepy town. The cafe owner had wired up to the grid to power his grow lights PG&E got wise. The local sheriff was uninterested but the feds were...and that is why there is no cafe in Eureka presently. Both these friendly locals were thrilled to share this local gossip with me. 

Our hotel here in Eureka was a revelation, so much so that I was considering paying 1500 to live here for the month to work remotely and sit in the street with the chickens. This lovely couple bought the Collonade Hotel some years ago which had been a hotel for over a century. They completely renovated the inside and created a near five star suite equipped with a kitchen and stunning indoor neon sign over the bed.

As I slept I heard the wind blow and my mind kept traveling down to the tunnels. I imagined the workers running up and down the town's bowels working hard for next to nothing. I was sad to leave the next day but excited to taste more of the loneliest road in America. Eventually we crossed into Utah and the change was dramatic. Going from a landscape dotted with casino’s and brothels to one dotted with churches is surreal. I felt the Mormon history I know pouring through the names of the prophets/town namesakes. We were on our way to Monroe Utah, chosen for the hot springs less than a mile from our airbnb. At our age we like to drive no more than 3 or 4 hour stretches which is a lovely way to maximize exploring obscure locations more deeply.

Monroe Utah, another town with a checkered past. The settlers, also early members of the LDS church made their camp smack in the middle of the tribespeople’s hunting territory. The native people were accommodating at first but when threatened eventually with starvation, a standoff ensued. It did not end well.

The airbnb was hosted by another charming couple who purchased this historic home and created a homey inn/bed and breakfast. They were hurriedly filling their pond and readying themselves for some instagram influencers arriving the next day. Consequently they were not offering breakfast but gave us a little basket of fresh eggs, delicious bacon and homemade sausage. The “room” was enormous. Two queen beds, a big living room and large kitchen, vintage treasures dotted throughout. We set off to see the free hot springs close by knowing we had a reservation at the nearby and more established Mystic Hot Springs at 9 pm.

We arrived a the red earth springs to find a cute hippy couple carefully making their way down the hill in bare feet. “Up there is the hot one.” Said the young and wistful chap. Spring water was emerging from atop the little hill and cascading into various pools as it made its way down. We scurried up the slippery and red earth and carefully placed our clothing aside hoping it would not be forever stained a radiant red. We squatted inside a silty bath just big enough for two.

I placed my hands against the stones to feel the piping hot spring water slipping over the rock.

We walked back down the rocks and I had beautiful bright red feet. Later we made our way to Mystic Hot Springs in the dark. Mystic Hot Springs is a hippie hang out. There are busses you can stay in. This is not our scene anymore but curiosity, nostalgia and my deep love of spring water lured me in. We enjoyed a stolen twenty minutes without any other soakers. Their arrival was our queue to depart. Soaking in a bath with others post pandemic will take some time.

Onward to Arches National Park. The original inspiration for this trip. My darling husband said he wanted to see Arches and Monument Valley. As he is a somewhat reticent traveller I jump on his interests and inspirations. As we pulled into Moab we were horrified. Too many people. Traffic. Construction. ATV’s. The line for Arches National Park found and stretched down the road. We pulled into the Moab Springs Ranch, smack in the middle of the construction. When we finally got to our room the beautiful view was our first taste of Moab’s redemption. Red rocks. Beautiful red rocks.

My husband napped and I went into town for supplies. I was greeted by throngs of people from all corners of the globe buying tubes of protein and peanut butter for tomorrows hikes and excursions. I was terrified. I longed for the loneliest road and the sleepy clucking chickens of Eureka. I eventually returned home triumphant with bread, cheese, apples and a rotisserie chicken. The clerk at the grocery store told me it was a their busiest day this year. Spring break. It seemed that everyone in the world had thought to go to Arches as the first vaccines were being injected across the country.

We hid in our room the whole next day, going to the little meadow on the property, giving ourselves spa treatments, soaking in the big tub and sitting on our porch. We went for a tentative hike around the perimeter of the property that afforded us some more red rocks and a taste of the red energy of this place.

The following day we awoke early and decided to brave the park. We held our breath in anticipation of a long train of tourists waiting at the entrance. Instead, we coasted up to the park entrance completely unfettered. It was 7 in the morning and there was no entry fee, no other cars and nothing but a little winding road coaxing us gently into the park’s embrace. We were happily shocked.

We entered the park and were slowly enveloped by a hallowed feeling of awe. The monuments rose from the earth, truly sentient. I could see them standing, greeting the rising sun, in just this way for millions of years. Arches is known as “a portal through time” and that is exactly what it is. We passed through this portal and honestly time has felt different ever since.

We understood why our intuition had drawn us here, and the crowds and irritation of the previous day melted way.

There are some landscapes that are so sacred, simply being there is powerful ceremony.

I said a prayer to the four directions in the morning light. The Le Sal mountains or the 'dwelling place of the good spirts' were illuminated in the morning sun.

The history here is fascinating. About 700 years ago the pueblo people left. They had been here thousands of years. The reasons for their departure are somewhat mysterious. They travelled toward Arizona and New Mexico and built dwellings there. The Ute were nomadic and came into the area as these pueblo peoples left. Stunning petroglyphs line the walls of many surrounding places. Some right on the side of the road. Potash road or the lower Colorado river scenic byway is one such place. This winding road goes along the beautiful river which widens and gushes throughout. You can amble down to the river bank and watch it move. It ends at one of the potash mines where you will find two commemorative plaques. You can read about two tragic mine accidents, one that ends with an incredibly heroic rescue mission.



The Upper Colorado Scenic Byway is home to Castle Rock, in one of the most breaking valleys I have ever seen. I am reminded here of places like Tintagel in Cornwall England. Though so different, these places are alike in their mythic quality. Here the sprits have constructed their vast habitat and we can visit in wonder. We pull to the side of the road, avoiding parking lots and people. We wandered out to find the grandest vista imaginable. We set up our chairs and looked out over the ancient sea bed leading up to the castle dwelling made of rock, myth and magic. You could almost hear the dinosaurs walking the earth. We found quartz everywhere we walked.



I again said my prayer to the four directions, magnificence all around. Turns out there are some little airbnb’s in the valley and when we return, this is where we will be. For those interested, there is also a gorgeous $1000/night inn with private cabins alongside the Colorado river with an incredible farm to table restaurant.

On to Dead Horse Point. Dead Horse Point enjoys the best view of Canyonlands national park or “Utah’s Grand Canyon.”  It is also home of one the saddest and spookiest stories in the west. If you are scared of cliff driving like me, park before the bottleneck and walk the last part. The narrow bottleneck opens and forms a natural paddock, sheer cliffs plummeting all around the perimeter. The story goes that some horses were trapped here and left to perish many years ago. Many ranchers used the natural paddock to keep their ponies corralled temporarily as they travelled. These unfortunate ponies were somehow left or forgotten and their spirits now circle Dead Horse Point.

Here you have a a literally breathtaking view of God’s artistry. It is an image that will never leave me: the earth carved and etched in every direction, the air circling around us as if we were suddenly transformed into eagle or hawk.

The last thing to mention about Moab is much more mundane but no less magnificent. Milt’s Stop and Eat in Moab is home to the best burger in the southwest. It was a busy evening and so we waited an hour for our food, standing in line with tourists and locals. Someone was playing John Cougar Mellencamp from their jeep in the parking lot. This place has been serving American classics since the 1950’s and we devoured cheeseburgers, wedge fires and chocolate shakes reverently in our car.

The perfect burger is a spiritual experience. The edges of the meat brown and flavorful and the bun soft and sugary, melt together and taste like home.

The fries were scalding and fluffy on the inside. A burger says “treat” but it also says “family.” You go out for a burger with people you love, not people you are trying to impress, or people whose company needs to be improved by ambiance or fanfare. Even a mediocre burger is pretty good and as Woody Allen says “even my worst one, was right on the money.” Perhaps because I would have settled for much less, Milt's splendid burger inspires deep gratitude. I will never go to Moab and not eat here. One of the terrifying ATV trails is accessed nearby. As we eat we watch a steady stream of buggies returning to civilization.

From Moab we drive south to Monument Valley. This is an unexpected and fascinating road through painted dessert and odd little towns like Mexican Hat. As we approached Monument valley from the North, the Monuments rise up like titans to greet us. This is Navaho land. Jewelry stands and hogans dot the stunning landscape. The Navajo Nation Parks are closed due to the pandemic so we admire the monuments from a respectful distance. My sister Abby told me about a little lodge that boasts the most incredible views. Gouldings Lodge is a strange and modest hotel whose rooms have not been updated in a while. Along the back of our comfortable and dowdy room is a deck with a million dollar view. Our eyes stretch out unbridled to caress the monuments.



There is a little theater for post covid times that shows western movies, all filmed in the area. The restaurant serves Navajo tacos. Some donkeys had escaped from their paddock along the highway and we were happy to see them chased in away from the sparse but rapid highway traffic. We had listened to Carlos Nikia’s album Inside Monument Valley at least ten times already and we enjoy it again as we now drive south the next day, the great Monuments behind us.

Cottonwood Arizona is a wonderful small town. It is a short twenty minute drive to the “holy land” of Sedona and after any time in Sedona, the modest and grounded Cottonwood is a welcome reprieve. Sedona of course is stunningly beautiful. The winding 179 scenic byway is a lovely way to drink in the red rocks. Sedona has changed a lot since I was in high school. Back then I remember it seeming like a strange secret known only to desert witches. Now, there is a lovely Whole Foods and every other “convenience” you can imagine. These days I prefer Cottonwood. There are wonderful antique and thrift stores in Cottonwood, Home Sweet Home and Larry's Antiques are my favorites.



We stay for a week at my new favorite Airbnb which backs onto beautiful pond filled with ducks and geese. 

The air is snowy with cottonwood seeds as it is late spring. I find the cottonwood shedding magical. The air is filled with fairies that dance on the warm Arizona breeze.

We went to Jerome and walked the winding streets and ate on the patio at The Haunted Burger. We laugh about the “ghost tours” in these Arizona towns even though we know they are onto something. The Verde River dreamily winds through this part of the state. We find a lovely spot to sit one afternoon and have a local playing her little hand drum for company. Evidence of Beaver’s gnawing and sculpting the landscape surround us. More cottonwood fairies dance.

After a restful week of antiquing, exploring and working we drive south a few hours to visit our family in Phoenix. My family’s garden is one of the loveliest places on earth. It is more like a Oxfordshire garden with its high ficas border, protecting and enveloping the space in green colored privacy. White roses and lavender flourish. The crystal clear pool is beautifully rectangular and white. We rarely leave the garden when we visit. We wander into the kitchen to gather cold la Croix and sandwiches and wander back out, our bikini’s dripping moisture on the marble tiles. This garden is a portal to the halcyon days of childhood, when existing outside for long and unfettered stretches of time was fundamental. We laze in the shade and I duck into one of the spare rooms to have remote sessions with clients.

Working on the road is wonderful. Over the last year I have begun to see less clients in a day. Seeing four clients leaves ample time and emotional energy to enjoy being “on holiday.” The line between work and life has blurred - in a good way. I feel the balance between work and wonder. Work feeds life and life feeds work. My client sessions are always enlivened when I am tending my own garden and nurturing my own sense of wonder. This life of freedom to work from anywhere is a revelation that I am only beginning to digest. I love my work more than ever and feel I have found the holy grail of work life balance since going remote.

After a week here with family I realize I want keep going. Returning to San Francisco seems premature and I engage one of my favorite pastimes: planning a trip while I am on a trip. I decide to continue on to Santa Fe, via Truth or Consequences, stopping in Winslow Arizona and Tehachapi California on the way home to SF. I change my mind again and decide to wait until October to travel  to New Mexico. In October the green chilies are harvested and roasting. The leaves are gold and the kiva fireplaces are glowing.

I settle excitedly on instead traveling south to Tucson, where I lived and loved for many years, then on to Bisbee, Joshua tree, Mercey Hot Springs and finally home to SF. I will be traveling solo for two weeks. Although we both enjoy our own company my husband and I are rarely apart. This is growth for us.

Tucson is a wonderful town and the surrounding desert is a blanket of magic. I eat delicious Mexican food in my old friends garden, her handmade saguaro disco ornaments dangling magically in the light of the full moon.

That night I become violently ill and experience a kind of vision quest in the quaint boho airbnb camper I have rented in Armory Park near downtown. I am up all night and I have to cancel my morning sessions. I am better and in in my friends hot tub within 24 hours. Like the car trouble at the very beginning of our journey I am again humbled and reminded that I am not in control. I recalibrate to a slow and grateful pace. I spend some time on the patio and wandering around the historic Hotel Congress reminiscing about working and playing here in my twenties. 

After a few days in Tucson, before I feel ready to leave I start south to Bisbee. It is a wonderful drive. Benson Arizona, St David, Tombstone and stretches of road carpeted with desert await. I have rented a delightful place on Main street in old town Bisbee.

As I arrive a saxophone player is serenading the afternoon and the breeze is gently blowing through the lace curtains. The Object hotel in Bisbee is a true find. I want to stay for months. Vintage treasures lay effortlessly against the white walls. It is a huge building. There is a ballroom. I dream of running a desert retreat here.



There is a gorgeous rattan 70’s peacock chair from which I will see my clients in the days to follow. I relish walking around the winding staircases of Bisbee on my breaks between sessions. I shop with abandon at the many antique stores and buy a gorgeous velvet jumpsuit by Scorpio Rising at Classic Rock Couture. I find the amazing Patisserie Jacqui a few doors down and enjoy eating cakes fit for Wes Anderson for lunch. I am surprised at how much I enjoy traveling solo. There is always something to do. I follow my own thoughts and whims. I write.

I marvel at how connected to my life and commitments I feel although I am in this beautiful and obscure location doing as I please. It is a beautiful balance to have struck.

I drive to Joshua Tree, stopping at the Gallery of Dreams in Davis to browse and eat a lemon and earl grey tart from Patisserie Jacqui out of the cooler. I spend three nights at the Pioneertown Motel, lazing in the hammock and seeing clients from the quaint room filled with western decor. I read Edward Abbey's Desert Solitaire because someone has left it on the night stand. There is no kitchen but I have my kettle for tea and hot water bottles. I dine on apples and ham and cheese sandwiches with lots of butter and grey poupon. I go to the famous Pappy and Harriets for a sarsaparilla and hear the locals lamenting about the post pandemic influx of city folk moving to the desert.

The drive from Joshua Tree to Mercey Hot Springs begins with another gorgeous and remote drive along Old Woman Springs Road. As the road opens into Johnson Valley I am laughing out loud, incredulous at the unexpected beauty surrounding me.

Hank Williams sings his sweet sadness into the beautiful dust.

I travel through Barstow and up the joyless Interstate 5 to the Mercey Hot Springs exit. This winding road is in stark contrast with the Interstate. It is positively pastoral. Mercey Hot Springs has wonderful hot spring water and is a bird sanctuary. There are owls here. The mornings and evenings emit a chorus of birdsong while bunnies nibble their breakfast and supper. You can stay in a small but comfortable cabin, camp, park your trailer or rent an upscale airstream. I like the cozy cabins because they are a few steps from the clothing optional cast iron tubs. I am here for only one night before reentering the city and reuniting with my love. I leave having soaked the Mercey waters deep into my bones.

I return home...feeling committed to forevermore finding, exploring and dancing in the balance between work and wonder.

Meeting With the Muse

Book Online Session

Painting: The Maying of Queen Guinevere by Philip Ralley

Hello All! Sending all my best to you during this transformational time! I honor the ways you are taking care of yourselves and others and wish you a happy Summer. I know that you are finding your own balance, your own insight and your own rhythm. You really are amazing.

My practice is online through May. I have updated my website with information about online therapy and new offerings. I am excited to be offering shorter and more affordable 30 minute Jungian Tarot sessions. Working with the archetypes in Tarot is a wonderful way to get to the heart of things and receive guidance and support from your higher self when you need it most. I have one or two appointments a week available for 30 minute Tarot and 60 minute Tarot. Book online here.

I am feeling very creative and hopeful as we transition into Summer. The potent and emergent themes for me are release and comfort. Releasing and moving through transitions by harnessing honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. Receiving comfort through connecting with with the four elements of earth, air, fire and water.

GUIDED IMAGINATION FOR THIS MONTH

MEETING WITH THE MUSE

The last few months have been an invitation to strip down to essentials. We have been invited and sometimes forced to let go. Now - what do we want to create? As the rich growth of summer unfolds, what do we want to call in? Perhaps we have been quite appropriately in a place of contraction rather than expansion but as we transform...what is stirring inside? What nourishment does the creative part of you long for? How do you want to weave your recent awakenings into form?

This guided imagination adventure invites you to make contact with your inner muse. Through felt sense and free writing we will connect with and give voice to the creative part of ourselves.

Have pen and paper handy for this exercise.

Click below to go on the guided meditation with me....

GUIDED IMAGINATION

HEALING STUFF

One of my favorite things about this last month is seeing how people have creatively and naturally been healing themselves. I have heard about clients baking bread, going for incredible long walks, learning new things, connecting virtually in almost every way imaginable, grieving, finding joy in being alone, facing their demons, spending lots of time with partners and loved ones, staying in bed all day watching British period pieces and discovering parts of themselves long forgotten.

The following resources are perhaps little things but as we have learned - the little things are the real substance of our lives. A perfect cup of coffee, a sun break between zoom meetings, the jasmine growing on our block. Here are some of the little things I love right now and have brought me joy.

The Calm App - perhaps I am late to join the enthusiasm for mindfulness apps but now I am hooked. I listen to a bedtime story every night. Steven Fry's lullabies is my current favorite. The sound effects are so beautiful I also use the app for ambient sound.
The HAG WAYS COLLECTIVE Is a wonderful way to connect with the seasons and your inner witch. Danielle now has a body prayer component to her offerings that has helped me stay moving!

A favorite new film is Extra Ordinary. It is wonderfully creative and in the vein of What We Do In the Shadows. It is hilarious with heart. A very healing and moving film is Never Look Away. This film contains the most accurate cinematic depiction I've ever seen of how psyche works and how art heals.

There are lots of books, audio and worksheets on my website. You can check out my resources page HERE.

MUSIC

Beltane Love and Spirit Spotify Mix for you - Enjoy xo

PLAYLIST FROM HEARTSNACKS

Plus this entire beautiful album that I can't stop listening to Weyes Blood Titanic Rising

MAY TAROT READING

We are learning to bring our intuition and insight into the world of form. Mindfulness practice is intensely practical and leads to practical actions which are in alignment with our core values. This kind of action transforms spirit into matter and brings our hopes alive (Page of Swords). We have gone deep within and connected with our inner light in a time of darkness. Within our caves we have found new inspiration and remembered lost truths (Hermit). We are learning our place in the cosmos and how to let our lights shine. We are learning to work with our own unconscious so we can tap into the collective consciousness in a deeper way than ever before. We are unlocking our psychic powers and connecting at the speed of light (Star). Old patterns and beliefs that have held us in shackles are becoming conscious. By facing those things that have bound us we are setting ourselves free. Collectively and individually we are facing our demons so that we can learn to show up in authenticity, reveling in our humanity rather than denying it (Devil). We are building something new and collaboration is key. Our foundations are grasping new roots and we are offering our gifts up to the process. What we are birthing is holy and sacred (Three of Pentacles). Lean into the willingness to receive a gift or new opportunity. This gift may show up as an invitation to expand rather than contract. Saying yes to something new is powerful medicine (Ace of Pentacles).

What do you see?

What new things are you being offered right now?

How do you want to approach changes in your life right now?

Five card readings are my current favorite. I find the five card pull to be richly potent and versatile. You can use the placement of all five cards to fit your needs and interests. One way to read card placement: the querent as you are now in the center and the four elements surrounding you. The elements correspond with different functions such as feeling in the west, thinking in the east, spirit in the south, body and physical surroundings in the north. Alternately or in addition: the querent in the center, the past on the left, the future on the right, what we're dealing with on the surface above and the unconscious material below. I often like to pull a sixth card which symbolizes the most potent tool or best way to approach the matters at hand and to assist the current growth pattern.

HEALING SCREEN FATIGUE AND CREATING A NICE WORKSPACE

Many of us have been in zoom meetings galore and are experiencing some screen fatigue. Here are some tips that have been game changers for me:

1. Turning the brightness on my screen wayyyyyy down. I did this upon recommendation the second week of quarantine and it has made a world of difference!

2. Having a candle burning on my work desk or nearby at all times.

3. Using a diffuser in the same room I am working with an uplifting scent like frankincense or lemon.

4. Cleansing my workspace well and often. At the end of the day I use incense to cleanse my work area, organize all my office supples, take out the trash (empty la croix cans) and turn my computer off.

5. When I am not using my workspace and sometimes during the day I leave my sound machine playing ocean sounds. I find the sound energetically bathes and cleanses the space.

6. Keeping lots of crystals and rocks around to see and also to hold periodically throughout the day.

7. Having a background that is pleasing and healing not just for my clients to see but also for me. I have my screen angled so that I can see one of my favorite altar spaces.

Nurturing the Inner Flame

Book Online Session

Hello All! Sending love to you during this tender, transformational time! You are doing an amazing job. You are enough. You are magic.

Those of you who work with me regularly know that my practice is online during shelter in place. I am trying to make a few appointments a week available for established clients not on my regular schedule and for Tarot sessions. Every other Friday at 10 and every other Monday at 2 pm are available just for that and you can book online.

It is my belief that everyone is using this time to heal, grow, reflect, transform, grieve and connect in the way that is perfect for them. I honor the way you are navigating the challenges and opportunities available to us right now. My wish is for you to feel connected to resources that remind you - you are precious, creative, capable and resilient. We are doing it!

Painting by Vladimir Kush

RECIPE FOR THIS MONTH

Meditation on the candle flame within.

We have an inner fire. This fire burns with creativity, love and hope. It is our sense of aliveness. It reminds us that we are valuable at all times, in all circumstances and in all conditions. Our value does not fluctuate or go up and down. Value is as steady as a candle burning brightly. Our personal boundary system protects this candle from all winds and all weather.

This guided meditation brings the inner candle to the forefront of our attention and if used regularly builds awareness of this inner flame so that it may feel protected in fair weather or foul.

Click below to go on the guided meditation with me....

GUIDED MEDITATION

CREATIVE STUFF

• I have been enjoying collaging the last few weeks. Collaging has long been one of my favorite mediums for creativity. It is a great mix of visual and kinesthetic creativity. It is like creating your own personal Tarot expression. I am excited to be taking an online training currently with Soul Collage - it seems I am not the only one who sees collaging as a richly therapeutic medium! Check out their trainings and workshops.

• Two Mythical Coloring Books for you to download. ONE TWO

• This is a repeat resource but as the year progresses I am loving the Mythic Life monthly classes with Sharon Blackie. It is affordable and each monthly module is on a wonderful topic and includes guided imagination and written text. It is a great complement to personal therapy for anyone who works with me.

• Scarlet Sage has some wonderful offerings in their new online Mystery School including a workshop focussed on financial well-being and the stimulus package.

• There are lots of books, audio and worksheets on my website. You can check out my resources page HERE.

• Spotify Mix for you - these are songs I keep gravitating to lately. Enjoy xo PLAYLIST FROM HEARTSNACKS

APRIL TAROT CARD:
PRINCESS OF WANDS

This powerful image is from the Thoth Tarot deck. I have been working with the Thoth deck almost exclusively the last month. It is the keeper of deep wisdom. The Princess of Wands is the master of liberation, expression and the remover of internal blocks. She has the tiger by the tail. She does not repress her fears, rather she faces them and uses them to flush out any obstacles to liberation of the spirit. She is Mistress of Spring. She is a potent reminder to throw our fears on the pyre and let this purify us. Through facing and releasing fear we transform. By honoring the creative, vital force that lives within us we live sensually and fully. By recognizing challenge as opportunity we move through infinite portals of expansion.

"The spring time is a season for renewal and new beginnings, which is represented by the Ram's pedestal. The Princess of Wands has placed her old obstructions and fears on the altar and offers it as a spring sacrifice. She can be totally exposed and defenseless because she has nothing to fear."

~ Angeles Arrien from the Tarot Handbook: Practical Applications of Ancient Visual Symbols.

WHAT AM I FEELING?

You can use the feelings chart to help you identify, express and explore feelings. This can help us get to know ourselves and our feelings better. It helps to identify feelings in the body and ask...where do I feel that emotion in my body? This helps us separate thoughts from feelings and go deeper into our felt senses. "I feel like you..." is not a feeling it is a thought. This chart helped me learn the difference between thoughts and feelings which developed my self awareness and my ability to be intimate with myself and others.

Feelings chart from the Meadows Treatment Center.

ONLINE SUPPORT GROUPS

Alcohol and Substance Use Disorders

• www.aa.org - Alcoholics Anonymous is an international fellowship of men and women suffering from alcoholism. To find an online support group, visit here.

• www.adultchildren.org - Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)/Dysfunctional Families is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of men and women who grew up in with parents suffering from alcoholism. To find an online support group, visit here.

• www.na.org - Narcotics Anonymous is a global, community-based organization that helps individuals with substance use disorders. To find an online support group, visit here.

• www.ca.org - Cocaine Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women help each to recover from their addiction. To find an online support group, visit here.

Co-dependency

• www.coda.org - Co-Dependents Anonymous, a program that helps individuals recover from codependence. To find an online support group, visit here.

Depression and Anxiety

• www.adaa.org - Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) is an international nonprofit organization dedicated to the prevention, treatment, and cure of anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, and co-occurring disorders. To find an online support group, visit here.

Eating Disorder

• www.eatingdisorderhope.com - Eating Disorder Hope’s mission is to offer hope, information, and resources to individual eating disorder sufferers, their family members, and treatment providers. To find an online support group, visit here.

Sexual Addiction

• www.saa-recovery.org - Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) shares experience and hope to others so that they can overcome their sexual addiction. To find a telephone or virtual meeting, visit here.

Care Package

Book An Online Session

Sending my very best to each one of you during these tender times.

I have moved my practice online and am meeting with all clients remotely and will be back in the office face to face as soon as possible. I am deeply loving my work with clients and couples right now and am enjoying my home office as a haven for online therapy.

I am experiencing this time as a unique opportunity awakening. What is true for me right now...

• Everybody's journey is sacred ~ I am in awe of how the present circumstances are challenging and supporting all of us in growing exactly where we want to grow. The spiritual work we are doing now is creating awakenings that will have a lasting effect.

• I can take it one day at a time.

• There is the present moment and then there is everything else ~ the invitation is to keep returning to present. Both the breath and the sensations in my body are portals to the present.

• Resource, relief, aliveness, intimacy and peace are found in the present.

• When I am triggered I am in relationship with that trigger not with the person in front of me. If I become triggered I want to work with the trigger not on changing the other person.

• I can connect with my higher power and wake up to the present moment any time. Waiting for someone or something to change is not necessary.

• I feel love! For the Universe, for my husband and for every person in my life.

What is true for you right now?

RECIPE FOR THIS MOMENT

SEEING WITH THE HEART

"Everybody needs to take some time, in someway to quiet themselves and really listen to their heart"

~ Jack Kornfield

I think that when we see with our heart instead of our eyes we are identified with what mindfulness practice calls "the observer self." This is the part of us that sees with curiosity, openness and wonder. This is the part of us that has healthy boundaries and is able to refrain from offending and protect ourselves from being offended. The observer self is the part of us that can feel the depths of our being. When we are in touch with the depths we are accessing an inexhaustible resource. My codependence tells me - if I'm not reactive or overwhelmed it means I don't care. My truth is the exact opposite. When I am in touch with the depths and identified with the observer self, I care deeply. I care for self, I care for other and I honor each moment and each persons experience as sacred. Taking a step back and identifying with the observer self creates a sense of spaciousness and opens the door to compassion.

Connecting with the observer self is a powerful tool for the present time.

To connect with the observer self:

• Notice your breath

• Notice a center place inside

• Imaging that you are observing whats happening from this center place. I feel my observer self gazing from the heart.

Where do you feel a center place?

What is it like to let this center place breathe for you?

How do feel when you observe from this place?

Can you observe not only events and circumstances but also your own feelings and reactions from this center place?

How do you feel about others when you observe them from this center place?

TIMELY BOOKS

These are two of the spiritual classics that changed my perspective forever years ago. Perhaps listening to them on audible would be supportive right now...their message is powerful and they have such wonderful voices...

Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Loving What Is by Byron Katie

For deep comfort try these audible classics read by two of my favorite narrators...

Wiinie the Pooh by AA Milne
Mists of Avalon by Marrion Zimmer Bradley

Incredible guided mediations with Starhawk and her drum!
Wiccan Meditations by Starhawk

CARD FOR THE MOMENT

3 OF CUPS

The 3 of cups keeps coming up! I am grateful for the reminder to focus on the abundance of the present moment and on developing an attitude of gratitude. An attitude of gratitude is powerful and resourcing. It allows us to be of service to ourselves and those around us. The 3 of cups also a reminds me to share feelings with others. All kinds of deep feelings are surfacing and can we keep sharing them? Can we drink them in and be nourished by them? Feelings are the substance of connection and intimacy. There is an abundance of feeling available to us. Lets take care of ourselves and use our boundaries whenever we need but also remember to enjoy the connection that comes from sharing real feelings with those we are close to.